Doubles

I like to read a book when I am on the GO train. It makes the time I spend on the train more worthwhile. Unlike many people, I don't read on the train because I want the time to pass faster. I like riding the train; I just don't like the destination half the time: the office.

Work feels like a trap to me. I can't survive without it, but I am definitely not contributing my talent with the nature of work expected of me. My dream job does not exist. Or, I don't have the qualifications to get one.

The latest book I read on the train is Margaret Atwood's book on writing. Like my daughter told me when she saw me reading the book: she is a wonderful writer, a wonderful story teller, I just don't care much about the tales. But this particular book is about writing, so I bought it during the lunch hour a few days back.

The one topic she talks about in the book is the concept of a double for writers. A writer, when she is writing, she says in the book, is really a different person from the person not writing.

I am not a writer. I don't wear a scarf, other than to fend off the wind in the winter. But I think that is a good strategy to use when I work. I should simply pretend that I am a different person when I am working. Actually, I probably yet another double, because I am definitely a different person when I need to think about some weird ideas.

So, I need three personalities: one for work, one for thinking, and one for ordinary living.